Choosing Straight, Part 6, (Rated - PG)

Windy day on the Arkose Ridge, Talkeetna Mountains, Alaska

So there we were, down in the basement, just looking around, you know? But we didn't touch anything, because that was one of the rules, "You don't mess around with your friends dads stuff." Your own dads stuff was fair game, so long as your dad never found out, which was always the tricky part, because no matter how careful you were, sooner or later you broke something. And then the question was, tell your dad? (the classic George Washington ploy) or put it back and hope he never notices? or pack up your most treasured items and hop the first fast freight train heading west. (Unless you lived in California. In which case, I suppose, you had to either join the merchant marine and ship out for China, or jump a freight heading east. Which just doesn't have the same cachet.)

It depended on just what exactly got broke.

So anyway, there we were, down in the basement, when for some reason, (perhaps, somehow, she called out to me) I looked up and I saw...

Her...

I saw HER!

My first vision of, The Goddess!

There She was, floating above the workbench like an Angel. Seven, maybe eight feet in the air.

I had NEVER seen anything like her before.

I'd never even imagined anything like her.

I was riveted to the spot.

And there was another Angel next to her. Maybe they were sisters? What can I say? I was young. But young as I was, and as little as I knew, at that instant I knew one thing for certain.

I had to get a closer look.

I didn't know exactly why I had to get a closer look. But, by God, if I knew anything at all, I knew I had to get a closer look. So I climbed up onto that workbench so I could get a closer look, and I was right...

It was a girl.

- Here Beginneth -

The Book of the One True Revelation

Chapter One

1 No. Not a girl.

2 She was, a woman! (Orlando)

3 And she didn't have any clothes on!

4 And yea verily, I say unto thee, at that very moment. Bang!

5 My life was changed, forever.

6 And so it came to pass that I heard an antiphonal brass choir begin to play,

(Something by Corelli, I think.)

7 And I heard The Heavenly Host begin to sing,

(A Gloria, I'm fairly certain.)

8 And I was bathed in a Warm, Bright, and Holy Light,

9 And The Goddess reached down from her Heaven,

10 And She took the top off of my head,

11 She unscrewed it like a bottle cap,

12 And when I was completely opened,

13 She began to pour something into me,

14 Something warm, and exquisite, and wonderful.

15 A Celestial Nectar.

16 An Ambrosial Syrup.

17 Something wild, and hot, and more than a little dangerous.

18 Something that I knew, and I knew it absolutely! was better than the Hot Fudge on a Hot Fudge Sundae had ever been, or ever could be.

19 I was transfixed,

20 I was frozen,

21 I was mesmerized....

22 And so it came to pass,

23 That time was stopped in its tracks,

24 And the outside world ceased to exist,

25 And there was only She, and I,

(Should it be "she and me?" Nah. Even if that's correct,

the sound of it sucketh big rocks.)

26 And verily I say unto thee, there was now between us, a Strange, New,

and Unexpected Power,

27 And I felt it flow down through my body like hot honey,

28 Like a shot of something 100 proof, only way, way, better,

29 All the ways down to my toes.

30 And so it came to pass, that when my toes were filled,

31 the Celestial Heat began to rise,

32 Upward,

33 Upward, Upward, Ever Upward, until I was filled with that Hot Honey from toes to head,

(with some extra, located about mid body. Well OK, I was nine, so it was only a little extra)

34 And so it came to pass, that when I was filled completely with this new heat,

35 The Goddess gently screwed the top of my head back on,

36 And She ascended up into Heaven,

37 And She left me there, in that dark basement, with this incredible and never before experienced feeling, which filled to overflowing my entire body.

Here Endeth

The Book of the One True Revelation

A Moment of Reverent Silence please...

I had no idea what the hell had just happened. No idea what this totally new feeling was. And no idea what to do about it. But I knew I was changed forever.

Full body shiver.

And though I had no idea what this new feeling was, I did know one thing for certain, and that one thing was - God Damn!!! - I liked it. I liked it a lot!!! Hell, liked it? I loved it!! (and I still do!)

So, even though I did not know what was happening at the time, from todays vantage point I'm certain that was my Moment.

The moment I chose to be heterosexual. (Or, maybe, heterosexual chose to be me.)

Yes, thinking about it now, that was my Moment. Absolutely, no question about it.

I saw Miss July and I CHOSE! I must have made my conscious decision right there.

If Gays choose the "gay lifestyle", as the Evangelicals keep insisting, then surely it must follow that they should remember making their decision. Evangelicals must remember that moment, how could they possibly forget that? The moment they chose to be straight? After all I remember mine! (With crystal clarity, as you have read.)

It's the only way their argument makes any sense. They must wake up some morning and say to themselves, "Ah yes, it is all clear to me now. From this moment forward I shall only feel sexual attraction to boys / girls. (whichever is the appropriate Evangelical Christian Hetero gender for me!)

Or maybe it happens while they're eating breakfast.

Or watching baseball.

Son: "You know father, I have been giving the matter a great deal of thought, and I have decided that, henceforth, I shall only feel a sexual attraction to girls."

Father: "Son, you cannot know how proud I am of you at this moment. You have chosen wisely and avoided one of the many snares of Lucifer. This one known as the "Gay Lifestyle" choice. Still, son, all is not smooth sailing - for you must now how to discern Good and Godly women from "fallen women" and "soiled doves", henceforth known as sluts and whores, and who are yet another snare of Lucifer, and a sure path to perdition."

Son: "And how shall I know the Good and Godly women from the... the..."

Father: "Sluts and whores, son?"

Son: "Yes, father."

Father: "Son, it is very simple. Any woman who has sexual intercourse before she is married, is a slut and a whore."

Son: "So what is the test, father?"

Father: "Well son, when you are dating you must, at every opportunity after the third date, do everything in your power to try to get her to go all the way. Tell lies, make promises, whatever it takes."

Son: "And if she, if she..."

Father :"Goes all the way, son?"

Son: "Yes, father. What if she goes all the way before we're married? What should I do then?"

Father: "Why son, then you must drop her like a hot potato! After, of course, you've tested her enough times to be absolutely certain she's a slut. And then you must pray to God for forgiveness, and promise never to give in to a sinful woman, ever again. And then start over with the next cutie that catches your eye."

Son: "Yes father... Um... Is that how you met mother?"

Father: "Just watch the game son."