Dedicated to George Rekers....
So I'm wonderin, as I so often do, about the whole omniscient thing. Like, what would it be like to know everything it is possible for you, as G, to (logically) know? (I threw that "logically" in for the theologians and philosophers, it helps to keep them happy. Not sure why.)
And whether G, who is all good, can know what it's like to be, say, Jeffery Dahmer, or Adolf Hitler.
Or whether G, who is pure spirit, and wholly incorporeal, can know what it feels like to have a boner.
Or hard nipples and a wet pussy.
You know, to really experience the temptations of the flesh. I mean, G could have an intellectual understanding of it, understand it from a design standpoint, maybe, (by the way G, about the whole design thing? Needs some serious work. How about next time you engineer the mammalian visual system you run the wiring behind the photon detectors, you know? instead of over the top? where it gets in the way of the photons? avoid the whole huge blind spot smack in the middle of the visual field issue? And, (and this is just a thought you understand), maybe point the photon detectors towards the front? - Oh wait, that's right, you did do that. With the Mulloscs! On the fifth day! Before you made people. So... what was up with that...? Squids get better designed eyes than people? When you created us on the sixth day, after you created squids, and octopi, and cuttlefish and slugs! had you forgotten what you had done the day before...? Dude, you must'a been smokin waaaaay too much weed!), but, back to the subject at hand, is that in any way the same experience as being in a body and HAVING a boner? And as regards having a hard nipples and a wet pussy? Or what it's like to give birth? (The crucifixion lasted, what? three hours tops?) Well, as G only incarnated as C, who was undeniably male, I guess the creator of all must not have thought that understanding the undeniably weak, and inferior, and most originally sinful half of his creation was worth the effort.
Jeez! Ladies remember - Eat ONE fricken Apple.... (He never forgets. Never ever forgets.)*
I mean, I know there's all that theology about C, aka Logos, aka the word, (which is father to the thought, or vice versa), becoming incarnate so that G/C could know what it's like to actually be corporeal, and, since G and C are consubstantial, i.e. what C knows, G knows, ya know? I mean they're like this, (I make crossed finger gesture here), right? They have to know each others innermost thoughts! They ARE each others innermost thoughts! Except... Well... there is that stupid pesky scripture, Matt 24:36, where C pleads ignorance about the arrival time of Gs imperial rule.
Unless C was lying about not knowing....
But other than that? G and C? Totally Simpatico! I'm tellin you!
But, at the same time, there's the entire tension about whether C actually experienced the temptations of the flesh. Cause he has to be the perfect sacrifice, which means unstained by sin, right?
But, if I remember my catholic doctrine (or is it dogma? whatever... I can't be bothered to look it up right now), rightly, to even have the impulse is to commit the sin. To even consider the thought is to have, or form, the intent, and is therefore the same as actually committing the sin. So c'mon dudes, if simply having the boner is a sin, really, I'm thinkin "as well in for a penny as in for a (wait for it...) pound". I mean, ya gotta wonder... did C ever look at Mary Magdalene and think, "Daddy Damn! But I would love to get me some of THAT! Mmmm mm mmm mmm mmmmm. Must be a little... coooool in here tonight. Just look at those hellascious nipples pokin up through that robe. Bet they're sweet as the grapes in the Garden of Gethsemene! Yummy!"
Except, as soon as that thought, impulse, desire, (or anything else for that matter), arose, BANG! C has SINNED! And no more perfect sacrifice.
But if C never has any of those thoughts or desires, then C has no idea what it's really like to be in the flesh, doesn't know what it's really like to be one of us, and the whole exercise is pointless.
And the immaculate conception? What a terrible thing to do to a person. (Yeah, I know that's only doctrine, and not to be found, in any way shape or form, in the scriptures. Still....)
Mary is sitting in the living room, wondering what to cook for dinner, when suddenly!
So I'm wonderin, as I so often do, about the whole omniscient thing. Like, what would it be like to know everything it is possible for you, as G, to (logically) know? (I threw that "logically" in for the theologians and philosophers, it helps to keep them happy. Not sure why.)
And whether G, who is all good, can know what it's like to be, say, Jeffery Dahmer, or Adolf Hitler.
Or whether G, who is pure spirit, and wholly incorporeal, can know what it feels like to have a boner.
Or hard nipples and a wet pussy.
You know, to really experience the temptations of the flesh. I mean, G could have an intellectual understanding of it, understand it from a design standpoint, maybe, (by the way G, about the whole design thing? Needs some serious work. How about next time you engineer the mammalian visual system you run the wiring behind the photon detectors, you know? instead of over the top? where it gets in the way of the photons? avoid the whole huge blind spot smack in the middle of the visual field issue? And, (and this is just a thought you understand), maybe point the photon detectors towards the front? - Oh wait, that's right, you did do that. With the Mulloscs! On the fifth day! Before you made people. So... what was up with that...? Squids get better designed eyes than people? When you created us on the sixth day, after you created squids, and octopi, and cuttlefish and slugs! had you forgotten what you had done the day before...? Dude, you must'a been smokin waaaaay too much weed!), but, back to the subject at hand, is that in any way the same experience as being in a body and HAVING a boner? And as regards having a hard nipples and a wet pussy? Or what it's like to give birth? (The crucifixion lasted, what? three hours tops?) Well, as G only incarnated as C, who was undeniably male, I guess the creator of all must not have thought that understanding the undeniably weak, and inferior, and most originally sinful half of his creation was worth the effort.
Jeez! Ladies remember - Eat ONE fricken Apple.... (He never forgets. Never ever forgets.)*
I mean, I know there's all that theology about C, aka Logos, aka the word, (which is father to the thought, or vice versa), becoming incarnate so that G/C could know what it's like to actually be corporeal, and, since G and C are consubstantial, i.e. what C knows, G knows, ya know? I mean they're like this, (I make crossed finger gesture here), right? They have to know each others innermost thoughts! They ARE each others innermost thoughts! Except... Well... there is that stupid pesky scripture, Matt 24:36, where C pleads ignorance about the arrival time of Gs imperial rule.
Unless C was lying about not knowing....
But other than that? G and C? Totally Simpatico! I'm tellin you!
But, at the same time, there's the entire tension about whether C actually experienced the temptations of the flesh. Cause he has to be the perfect sacrifice, which means unstained by sin, right?
But, if I remember my catholic doctrine (or is it dogma? whatever... I can't be bothered to look it up right now), rightly, to even have the impulse is to commit the sin. To even consider the thought is to have, or form, the intent, and is therefore the same as actually committing the sin. So c'mon dudes, if simply having the boner is a sin, really, I'm thinkin "as well in for a penny as in for a (wait for it...) pound". I mean, ya gotta wonder... did C ever look at Mary Magdalene and think, "Daddy Damn! But I would love to get me some of THAT! Mmmm mm mmm mmm mmmmm. Must be a little... coooool in here tonight. Just look at those hellascious nipples pokin up through that robe. Bet they're sweet as the grapes in the Garden of Gethsemene! Yummy!"
Except, as soon as that thought, impulse, desire, (or anything else for that matter), arose, BANG! C has SINNED! And no more perfect sacrifice.
But if C never has any of those thoughts or desires, then C has no idea what it's really like to be in the flesh, doesn't know what it's really like to be one of us, and the whole exercise is pointless.
And the immaculate conception? What a terrible thing to do to a person. (Yeah, I know that's only doctrine, and not to be found, in any way shape or form, in the scriptures. Still....)
Mary is sitting in the living room, wondering what to cook for dinner, when suddenly!
POOF! Flash! Bang! Big cloud of smoke!
ArchAngel Gabriel appears!
Gabe: Yo yo yo! Yo! Mary! ArchAngel Gabe here! Guess what! You were born without sin! On account'a G is the man with the plan! An he knows how them silly catholic theologians is gonna come up with a doctrine what gots NO basis in the scriptures. But that won't stop them! Those darn catholics! They so funny!
Anyway!
G's gonna knock you immaculate self up! Yeah, thas what I'm sayin! You gonna get pregnant by G! By "The Man" hisself! Well, actually, he's gonna send down the holy spirit to do the job, on accounta... well... you bein... a girl an all... see... well... G... G got this... this... thing about pussy, see? You know how it is... all that "unclean" shit? I mean you read The Law right? I mean we know you immaculate, and ain't never bled, an won't never bleed... or have sex... or an orgasm... which is a shame really... really... really a shame... cause you a fine lookin girl... an those look like some really nice boobies you got under that there robe... But... well... it's just a G thing ya know? We don't question it. He bein The Boss an all. But G not gay or nothin like that! Not gay. No Way! Nooooooot gay! Absolutely Not! Not even a little tiny bit... Even tho he created Adam first, an wasn't really plannin on creatin women... um... Eve, at all... cuz.... um... you know how it is... An all that ragin bout men layin wit men like they was women, an how it's an abomination... an ya'll shouldn't be doin that, else G gonna do somethin REALLY bad to ya... Like he did later on? Ya know? That whole sodom an gomorrah destruction thing? All that Hellfire an Brimstone rainin down... Weren't nothin to do with... Umm.... Cuz G don't got NO internal conflicts, or nothin like that... No way... None a dat shit... So....
Anyway...
The holy spirit gonna come down an knock you up! So his son can die for the forgiveness of sin and save the world! (but you an Joe gotta raise him on you own, see, cause G ain't gonna be around much... G be busy runnin the universe you know... Full time job... That ol G... he busy busy busy...)
Mary: (Shocked silence)
Gabe: Now I can see you got some concerns here, but I'm gonna be talkin to Joe 'bout this real soon, so don't you be worryin your pretty little head about what he's gonna say or think, or none a that, cause we got that covered.
Mary: (Stunned silence)
Gabe: Oh. An did I tell ya they's gonna be some wiseguys comin from th' east? No? Yeah. Three wiseguys. From the East. They gonna follow some star, see? so old Matthew, or whoever, can work that ol Star Prophecy into the gospel. An those three wise men don't got nothin to do wit makin a reference to G an friends visitin Sarai and Abram. Nothin A Tall! Anyway... They gonna be bringin you an the baby gold an frankincense an myrrh an all that. An if ya'll sell the frankincense an myrrh on ebay, an invest that gold, why, you an Joe gonna be set financially for life! I'm tellin you! It's all good. Would I lie to you? This is Gabe here! Th' ArchAngel! See these wings? Pure Gold!
Mary: (Strangled silence)
Gabe: Oh, an 'bout those wiseguys... they is gonna be a little problem wid dat, see... just a little one... see... uh... they gonna be talkin wit crazy ol King Herod on th way in, right? 'Bout your son bein the new king a the jews an all? An... well... you know that crazy old herod, how he kinda got that psychotic an delusional thing goin on? So, he's gonna be orderin the murder of all the babies under two years old, to try an kill yo... kill Gs son. So... ya'll might wanna be headin out egypt way after the wise men show up, ya know?
Mary: ...
Gabe: Now I know what you gonna say, bout all them innocent babies bein murdered, when G could certainly prevent it from ever happenin, him being G an all. Like maybe him appearin to the wiseguys an tellin em NOT to talk to herod on the way in... like he gonna do... on the way out... Uhhh... But ya gotta believe it's all part a G's greater plan. I mean, Eternal Salvation versus a few thousand dead babies an broken hearted mamas an all that innocent blood runnin in the streets... Brr, give me chills jus thinkin about it... Still... I mean... a few thousand murdered babies... salvation... a few thousand murdered babies... salvation.... You do the math. An after all, I mean... it ain't like G got a problem with murderin babies... they is some precedent, what with G murderin of all th eqyptian first born all those years ago... An the canaanite genocide... Cept for the virgin girls... An all those years what G demanded the infant sacrifice of ya'lls first born... Which ain't gonna be totally erased from the scripture...
Don't know why he gonna let that slide...
Mary: ...
Gabe: Bad planning? Bad planning? Watch'u talkin 'bout Willis! Bad planning... Sheeit! This is G you talkin about! Ain't no bad plannin involved! He seen this since the beginnin a time. Ain't you read your book a Job? Ya know? "Where was you when the foundations of th earth was laid" an all that? He's G! He's The Man! Don't you be talkin no "bad planning"!
So anyway, thas the plan. The holy ghost gonna be along any time now an be gettin down to bidness. So... You have you a good day! I'll be headin back to heaven now. Gotta tell G things is alright on this end. Got places to go an people to see! (whispers) Me an Mike got us a game a texas hold'em with Lucifer an the boys tonight. Lucifer he be gettin some bad press, but he not a bad guy at heart.
So... Be seein ya!
Peace, Out!
*Actually he forgets stuff all the time, but that's fodder for another post. Probably dozens of other posts. Maybe hundreds! I'll NEVER run out of material! He's a fricken Gold Mine! A license to print money!
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