If the Bible is not true history, what follows?
G did not create the world in six days, and rest on the seventh -
G did not create the garden of eden -
G did not create the first man and woman, aka Adam and Eve -
BTW: Genesis Version 2.0, beginning at Gen 2:4, is pretty clearly an adaptation of the Babylonian creation myth in which the head god creates man and woman to tend the garden(s) the gods had initially created and tended themselves. (Well, actually it was only the gods on the losing side of an unfortunate misunderstanding who were forced to garden, but that's another story.) This, (creating humanity), was done primarily because the gods figured their time was way too important to be wasted weeding and watering, (read as - the losing gods eventually whined and complained so much that the head god created us, and made us take over the gardening duties, just to make the losing gods shut up and stop all the whining. Well that and to break the first strike in history... "Unions! They're not just for mortals!" Oh yes, I'm afraid it is true. We're scabs!) Anyway, all the gods were basically lazy, and gardening was way too much like work. And tending garden also cut into their time for fighting and fucking.
Sic semper Deii?
Oh, and speaking of which, (fighting and fucking), we humans proved so adept at both, (making war and making babies), that soon we were making so much noise, (while engaged in bellum and boinking), that the gods couldn't sleep! (On account of all the fratricide and fornication!)
And lack of sleep makes the gods cranky!
So it was decided, (by the head god), that making us was actually, in point of fact, a big mistake. So after giving the matter some thought, he, (the head god), figured that a huge flood would be just the thing! With which to catch the conscience of the king!
Or something along those lines.
You know, the more I learn of Babylonian and Sumerian mythology, the more I read the Old Testament and think, "So THAT'S where they stole that from!" Seriously, if the Babylonians, Sumerians, Akkadians, et al. had had good copyright law, Judaism would never have gotten off the ground.
(Weasel appeal: It appears to be the general consensus, (that's the weasel part), among non-evangelical bible historians, that the assembly of the Old Testament wasn't even formally begun until after the babylonian captivity. You do know, don't you, that it wasn't finished, in the form you would recognize, until somewhere around 400 AD. And about that Moses guy? Most likely he never existed. It's called Mythology....)
Personally, I think those of the ignorant Judean goat herders who got carried off to Babylon, (I say "those of" because not everyone was dragooned you see), anyway, when the ones who were dragooned got to Babylon, I bet they took one look at an actual Civilization and thought to themselves, "Damn! We gotta get us some of this!"
And said things like, "So, what's this writing business all about?" (OK, I admit that statement isn't true, and was purely for dramatic effect. (You want actual scholarship? With citations? Read BAR!) They did have a writing system of their very own before the Babylonian Captivity, but it was more or less abandoned in favor of the NEW! IMPROVED! Babylonian Hebrew Script! brought back, (along with sooooooo much else), from, (can you guess?) - drumroll please - Babylon!)
And I bet they, (the dragooned), also asked questions like, "Could you repeat that story please? You know, the one about the Head God creating everything? I need to write that down."
But back to the nonexistent garden -
If there was no garden, and no Adam and Eve -
Then Adam and Eve certainly couldn't have eaten the fruit of the Forbidden Tree, cause, in addition to they non-existence, they wadn't no forbidden tree!
Hmmm. There were two trees in the midst of the garden, the Tree of Life, and the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Strangely enough, it would evidently have been OK to eat the fruit of the Tree of Life.
And then what...?
Live forever, in ignorance, I guess.
But back to the train of thought. Choo Choo!!!
If there was no Adam and Eve, and there was no Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, then there was no eating of said fruit.
If there was no eating of said fruit then there was no disobedience, therefore no sin, therefore no fall.
Therefore no expulsion from the garden, (oh well, the garden never existed in the first place).
Therefore the creation we inhabit is not fallen and corrupted from some mythical state of perfection, but is, to this very day, the same sloppy, messy, organic, evolving web that it has always been.
No point, no profit. (It's the potential loss of profit that scares them the most I'm sure. And just imagine if Priests and Pastors and the Pope actually had to work (at something productive!) for a living!)
If Genesis is not true, then there was no fall.
If there was no fall, then there was nothing to forgive, nor any need for a blood sacrifice to bribe (insert deity of your choice here) to not send you to hell.
There was no sin, therefore nothing to forgive.
If there was nothing to forgive, then there was no need for a Savior.
They (Creationists) understand perfectly well what they are fighting for. Without "The Fall", the entire story comes completely apart. There is no way to salvage it. (Modern liberal christian theology notwithstanding.)
Without Genesis, there was, (is), no need for Jesus.
None whatsoever.
G did not create the world in six days, and rest on the seventh -
G did not create the garden of eden -
G did not create the first man and woman, aka Adam and Eve -
BTW: Genesis Version 2.0, beginning at Gen 2:4, is pretty clearly an adaptation of the Babylonian creation myth in which the head god creates man and woman to tend the garden(s) the gods had initially created and tended themselves. (Well, actually it was only the gods on the losing side of an unfortunate misunderstanding who were forced to garden, but that's another story.) This, (creating humanity), was done primarily because the gods figured their time was way too important to be wasted weeding and watering, (read as - the losing gods eventually whined and complained so much that the head god created us, and made us take over the gardening duties, just to make the losing gods shut up and stop all the whining. Well that and to break the first strike in history... "Unions! They're not just for mortals!" Oh yes, I'm afraid it is true. We're scabs!) Anyway, all the gods were basically lazy, and gardening was way too much like work. And tending garden also cut into their time for fighting and fucking.
Sic semper Deii?
Oh, and speaking of which, (fighting and fucking), we humans proved so adept at both, (making war and making babies), that soon we were making so much noise, (while engaged in bellum and boinking), that the gods couldn't sleep! (On account of all the fratricide and fornication!)
And lack of sleep makes the gods cranky!
So it was decided, (by the head god), that making us was actually, in point of fact, a big mistake. So after giving the matter some thought, he, (the head god), figured that a huge flood would be just the thing! With which to catch the conscience of the king!
Or something along those lines.
You know, the more I learn of Babylonian and Sumerian mythology, the more I read the Old Testament and think, "So THAT'S where they stole that from!" Seriously, if the Babylonians, Sumerians, Akkadians, et al. had had good copyright law, Judaism would never have gotten off the ground.
(Weasel appeal: It appears to be the general consensus, (that's the weasel part), among non-evangelical bible historians, that the assembly of the Old Testament wasn't even formally begun until after the babylonian captivity. You do know, don't you, that it wasn't finished, in the form you would recognize, until somewhere around 400 AD. And about that Moses guy? Most likely he never existed. It's called Mythology....)
Personally, I think those of the ignorant Judean goat herders who got carried off to Babylon, (I say "those of" because not everyone was dragooned you see), anyway, when the ones who were dragooned got to Babylon, I bet they took one look at an actual Civilization and thought to themselves, "Damn! We gotta get us some of this!"
And said things like, "So, what's this writing business all about?" (OK, I admit that statement isn't true, and was purely for dramatic effect. (You want actual scholarship? With citations? Read BAR!) They did have a writing system of their very own before the Babylonian Captivity, but it was more or less abandoned in favor of the NEW! IMPROVED! Babylonian Hebrew Script! brought back, (along with sooooooo much else), from, (can you guess?) - drumroll please - Babylon!)
And I bet they, (the dragooned), also asked questions like, "Could you repeat that story please? You know, the one about the Head God creating everything? I need to write that down."
But back to the nonexistent garden -
If there was no garden, and no Adam and Eve -
Then Adam and Eve certainly couldn't have eaten the fruit of the Forbidden Tree, cause, in addition to they non-existence, they wadn't no forbidden tree!
Hmmm. There were two trees in the midst of the garden, the Tree of Life, and the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Strangely enough, it would evidently have been OK to eat the fruit of the Tree of Life.
And then what...?
Live forever, in ignorance, I guess.
But back to the train of thought. Choo Choo!!!
If there was no Adam and Eve, and there was no Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, then there was no eating of said fruit.
If there was no eating of said fruit then there was no disobedience, therefore no sin, therefore no fall.
Therefore no expulsion from the garden, (oh well, the garden never existed in the first place).
Therefore the creation we inhabit is not fallen and corrupted from some mythical state of perfection, but is, to this very day, the same sloppy, messy, organic, evolving web that it has always been.
No point, no profit. (It's the potential loss of profit that scares them the most I'm sure. And just imagine if Priests and Pastors and the Pope actually had to work (at something productive!) for a living!)
If Genesis is not true, then there was no fall.
If there was no fall, then there was nothing to forgive, nor any need for a blood sacrifice to bribe (insert deity of your choice here) to not send you to hell.
There was no sin, therefore nothing to forgive.
If there was nothing to forgive, then there was no need for a Savior.
They (Creationists) understand perfectly well what they are fighting for. Without "The Fall", the entire story comes completely apart. There is no way to salvage it. (Modern liberal christian theology notwithstanding.)
Without Genesis, there was, (is), no need for Jesus.
None whatsoever.
PS:
Gen 1:29, God gives us "Every tree with its fruit for our food." - No qualifications, no exceptions.
Gen 2:17, "but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat."
Dude! Make up your mind!
Gen 1:29, God gives us "Every tree with its fruit for our food." - No qualifications, no exceptions.
Gen 2:17, "but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat."
Dude! Make up your mind!
How the hell are we supposed to keep it straight if you, oh omniscient one, cannot?
So, which is it?
